Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
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He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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