at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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