Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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