I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize