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you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
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