I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize