I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize