it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize