Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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