Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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