We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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