she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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