So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
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the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Boobs speak an international language.
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Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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