I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize