I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
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