i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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