if you like me you must not know who I am
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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