Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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