I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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