so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize