i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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