she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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