I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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