This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
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I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize