its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
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we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
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The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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