went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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