I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize