I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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