Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I cut my penus on the lid.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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