It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
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answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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