we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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