he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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