they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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