Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
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party gras won. party gras always wins.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
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The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
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