its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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