I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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