I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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