walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize