I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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