new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
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Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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