I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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