how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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