he wants to bone in the snuggie
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
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yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
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In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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