In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize