My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Randomize