Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize