if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
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We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
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Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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