i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
organizing the empties. That sober.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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