i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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