Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
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I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
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They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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